Internet Dating, Cyber Stalking and Social Sites like Hubpages

I'll begin by flat out stating I am NOT a fan of *internet dating* in any fashion. I have seen far too much go wrong due to my line of work and I do not recommend it. That doesn't mean you agree or are not going to do it so I am writing this to help you stay safe.

So you think you just may have found that perfect someone...they were not in your backyard; that much is certain. They very well may be 3000 miles away. With the onslaught of the Internet and Internet dating sites; your backyard has become pretty much the entire Globe.

Again, I, personally, do not find this appealing in any way, shape or form but that is utterly beside the point of this Hub so PLEASE read it for your own good. I will most likely (as I normally do) say some things you don't want to hear, nevertheless...

I really have seen some BAD things happen to good people over Internet dating (turned cyber stalking). I am then engaged as to how to get it to stop. This usually ends up getting law enforcement involved at some point. I have seen this happen to:

1. Clients
2. Friends
3. Relatives
4. Children!!!!
5. My Neighbor
6. and Most recently - Myself (As in out of the blue some joker starts emailing me repeatedly wanting to talk, call, webcam, uck.)

Seems to me that most people do not think it is fun. They are, if honest - a bit Scared; and with good reason; especially if you have given out identifying information about yourself.

What NOT to do if you don't want to put yourself at easy risk.

Stay OFF of those Internet Dating Sites! Oh, and did I say - STAY OFF THOSE INTERNET DATING SITES!?

I say that as this is courting trouble. I get and hear enough about the ones who were not even out there looking for it let alone those of you who ARE.

I *knew* you were not going to like this. But the truth is; those are THE easiest places for cyber stalking to occur. Hell, it practically occurs by osmosis. I know, you have told yourself 1000 times how careful you are/have been. BUNK!

Many stalkers (Predators) are Very Good at what they do! They may seem to you to be SO benign you'de think it impossible for them to be harmful. They are the ones who really are good at their *job*. They may not even be out to hurt you physically - maybe they simply want your money or your kid(s) or to steal your identity or whatever else they can get.

Have you ever seen the commercial dollars for gold ? Do you really think that type of ad do not promote theft!?

OK - I just KNOW you are NOT going to listen to me and going to go right on Internet dating anyway. (E Harmony is SO safe and cuddly and all that...) So please:

FOR YOUR SAFETY:

1. Do not EVER give out real identifying information about yourself. Never your real name and I don't care if it IS Jane Doe.
2. If you webcam; wear a wig, sunglasses, etc; change your apperance *enough*.
3. Don't stick real photos of yourself on dating sites.
4. If you are going to start sending cards and *crap* - USE A P.O. Box and do NOT give the post office your REAL address as they will ask you for it. LIE. It is easy to track a po box to the physical address the post address has on file.
5. If you just HAVE to talk to them on the phone; DO NOT GIVE out your phone number. Instead use the *67 function to phone them so that your number will not show on their caller ID and also cannot be recalled via re-dial.
6. AGAIN, don't give out your phone number, not a cellular or Especially a landline number. You can get away with using a pre-paid cell phone provided that you do not give out ANY data on yourself to the telephone people, where you got the phone, etc...as they WILL give that information to the carrier.
7. Obviously, don't ever give out your address (again)...just beating the point home.
8. IF you decide to meet them, do it in a very public place with lots of people around and arrive and leave by taxi or public transport. If you use your car, you are done. A licence plate number is WAY too much information to give a stalker. If they have that they can not only find out where you live, they could steal your identity.
9. Don't give out any details about other people you know.
10. Don't tell them the company you work for and I don't care if it IS a big one that may seem generic to you.
11. Use a generic email address such as gmail, yahoo or msn. If you use your own ISP, it can be traced back to you.

So there are some pointers to fly by. There are of course more but those should keep you safe....but only if you follow them!  Note Please:  ALL of the above also applies to ANY kind of social networking websites; not only the dating sites.  I was stalked from this one; hubpages.  I was also stalked from 2 others which I won't name.  Why won't I name them?  Because it just gives another *person* - *another* method of looking me up.

If you have put yourself out there on many social networking sites, you may have put up different identifying information about yourself on each one.  These, especially if linked together, OR use your real name which is not a common one, these stalkers will visit each site and peice together as much information as possible.

All these cyber trails we leave and perhaps rarely think about are dangerous.  Stalkers have no respect for the law or for you or anyone.  You need to keep in mind at all times that You do Not Know who you are Dealing with.